The fourth week of Advent is beginning as I write this reflection. In grade school, I remember how excited I would be at this time of year with the school Christmas play, making “unique” Christmas gifts in art class for Mom and Dad (specifically a macaroni candle with an empty paper towel tube and an angel from a half gallon plastic container), and counting down the days to Christmas vacation. Our Italian household was filled with fish being prepared for the traditional Christmas Eve dinner. You can imagine the odors wafting through the house, along with the steaming pots of boiling water on the stove for pounds of spaghetti on Christmas Eve. The heat from the kitchen (and the 20-30 family members gathered) always steamed up the glass in the windows and doors. What seemed like thousands of homemade Christmas cookies lined the countertops in plastic containers. In addition to food being stashed everywhere, so were out-of-town cousins who visited every year. Traditionally, I gave up my bedroom and slept on a cot in my parents’ bedroom for the holidays. I didn’t mind, but I am not sure about my parents, since I would engage in long conversations into the night from bed to bed, enjoying the evening glow in the room from the Christmas candles in the windows.
The reflection I read today for Advent, entitled “Our Vocation of Loving and Being Loved” by St. Mother Teresa reminded me of how I have been blessed with these wonderful childhood memories. One word comes to mind when I think about my childhood home – “love.” My parents were not very verbal in expressing their affection to my three brothers and me, but we knew that we were loved always because of all the things my parents (and grandparents, aunts and uncles – it’s Italian!) did for us every day. There was never a doubt in our minds that whatever our parents said or did or told us to do, it was for our benefit. That’s not to say we never had disagreements or were reprimanded, but there was always an explanation and life’s rules were pretty simple to follow according to my parents: be kind, be honest, and don’t ever bring disrespect to the family name – that would be disappointing. Because of family circumstances, both of my parents finished their formal education after 8th grade, but I believe that they were the two wisest people I have ever known.
So the words of Mother Teresa about love offered me a way to examine my own familial relationships in considering those created by my parents. She says,
You and I have been created for greater things. We have not been created to just pass through this life without aim. And that greater aim is to love and be loved. Once in a while we should ask ourselves several questions in order to guide our actions like: Do I know the poor? Do I know in the first place, the poor in my family, those who are closest to me – people who are poor, but not because they lack bread? . . .Perhaps they lack love, because I do not give it to them. We all have much to give, to share, and to contribute wherever we find ourselves to be living. Holiness starts in the home, by loving God and those around us for God’s sake.
I was raised in a multi-generational home filled with constant energy and activity saturated with love. My wife and I hope we have created a similar experience for our children, now that they are grown and, for the first Christmas this year, living on their own – a serious transition! But as life’s circumstances change, we adapt. Mother Teresa continues,
Wherever God has put you, that is your vocation. . . It doesn’t matter because I belong so totally to God that God can do just what God wants to do with me. It is not what we do but how much love we put into it.
So as I reflect on my childhood home, the home we have made for our children, and a new kind of home we make as our children have grown, my Christmas wish to all of our Archmere families is that your homes may be blessed this Christmas with the spirit of love, manifested in the birth of God’s Son, and our Savior, Jesus Christ!